Pasrah = Latihan Mati?

Dalam penerangan lanjutan di Subud, seorang mbak-mbak menceritakan mimpinya. Ia bermimpi diperintah oleh sebuah suara untuk masuk ke liang lahat. Ia tak segera masuk, karena ia tak percaya bahwa ia mati. Tapi kemudian ia menangkap bahwa apa yang harus dilakukan sebenarnya adalah pasrah, dan menurutnya pasrah adalah latihan kematian. Kematian di mana kita tak menggunakan lagi sukma (akal, pikiran, dan nafsu) melainkan hanya jiwa yang dilepaskan dari raga. Banyak cerita-cerita tentang orang yang mati namun jiwanya masih berada di dunia tak terangkat, ada yang bilang bahwa orang itu tidak pasrah kepada Tuhan.

Ada hal yang sebenarnya membingungkan saya.
Beberapa waktu lalu, saya lupa lagi chatting topik apa, sampai akhirnya saya bilang "Doain gue panjang umur ya." Eh dia malah komentar, "Ah ngakak gue bacanye, berasa orang bener lu." Kujawab lagi, "Loh? Emangnya gue bukan orang bener ya?" Topik itu memang nggak berlanjut karena kami segera ber-hahahihi dengan topik lain. Namun kenyataannya, topik itu masih ada di kepala saya sampai saat ini.

"Apakah yang cepat mati hanya orang yang bener?"
"Apa sih maksudnya orang yang bener?"
"Kalau orang yang bener itu orang yang pasrah, berarti saya belum pasrah dong ya."
"Berarti saya nggak khawatir sama adik saya yang suka marah-marah, karena dia belum pasrah, dan berarti belum akan mati?"
"Tapi bukannya yang mati ada orang yang ngga bener?"
"Orang yang panjang umur bukannya malah orang yang bener?"
"Apakah benar pasrah itu sama aja kayak latihan mau mati?"
"Dan, bukannya orang yang mau mati biasanya disuruh ikhlas dan pasrah?"

Dan ya, pertanyaan-pertanyaan itu muncul di benak, hati, dan sukma saya. Ah bingung ah...

19 comments:

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