Feeling Blue

Despite my previous blog post title is 'Having Fun',  last week I was feeling down for several days. Last week, I went to work, concert, festival, my schedule was kind of full last week. Now I can feel, depression is real 😂

What made me feeling blue is my workplace situation. I have three jobs currently, one job is fine, another job some coworkers are harsh and bullies, but I'm still okay, but the last one, my coworker is such a bully, and I was feeling uncomfortable.

I am still on training and I was confused to do a thing, then my coworker said to me, "You're stupid. I told you already." I may not have many working experiences, but I have experiences scolded by coworker, but this time really made me feeling down. Another reason, he was always looking down on me and laughing when I am doing my task.

What the funny thing is, five minutes later that guy told me, "I'm sorry. No need to care too much about that."

I just said to him, "If I have mistakes, please be angry." 😂

How to not care? I was like,

"Am I that stupid?"
"Am I that weak?"
"Should I quit the job?"

I know I shouldn't care too much but I dunno this time really made me so weak. It was really hard for me to smile, like for real. And I kept thinking how to return to happy me.

Yesterday, the boss talked to me about her life and we talked a lot. She is 70 year old and had cancer before, but she is always happy. Suddenly, I got her positive vibes, and became to be able to smile again 😂

Having Fun

There is a guy at my school who always called me "urusai hito", which means 'noisy person'. Another friend told me I'm so 'hyperactive', cannot stay silent and always need to move 😋 I'm always excited to talk about new beverage I drink, new McD menu, new place I saw, etc, and my another friend told me, "You look like having fun."

Well, I am having fun.

Some of my friends I know at school do not like living in Japan. Those people do not really speak Japanese and are working really hard. They said life here is just too busy and strict.

I agree about the busy life.
Life is just so busy especially if you also do some part-time jobs. Currently I have three part-time jobs (I still work no more than maximum hours I can work per week 😂), I'm joining two choirs (just performed two times last week), and sometimes joining events in Kyoto. Sometimes, I do language exchange with friends, hang out at the cafe, go to new places, etc. My schedule this month all full already. I will participate on summer program as well in other prefecture.

Always have new stories everyday.
A little bit busy, and but yes, I am having fun.

Look how fat I am.
Our performance few days ago (2/8), where I was chosen to sing intro part together with a friend (the hijab one) T_T

How To Lose Weight

According to my height, my ideal weight should be around 45 kg. The thing is I don't have ideal weight. In the beginning of this year my weight surpassed 81 kg. 😅 Way too fat...

Coming to Japan, I still eat a lot but I do walk everyday, like in the average I will walk 10K steps a day. Also life is getting busier (not too busy actually), so I tend to skip meal, and I lost 7 kg in 3 months. But I realized this is not a good way. But I still want my weight to become 60s this year.

Now, I know how to lose weight. Being busy, really. I still eat, but I don't eat snacks as much as before. I also do manual labor which depends on physical strength so maybe it's kinda exercise also. I also believe that 'busy is blessing'. I feel I don't really waste my time.

Few days ago, I did video calls with several blogger friends who I had not talked for such a long time.


Just so funny, suddenly missing those days when I was in university and what I did was blogging and blogwalking to many friends' blogs. Nowadays, I don't know whose blog to visit. Too many advertisement, hahaha...